All posts by Jerry Toporovsky

Being in the moment

In the depth of our mechanical life are the stories we tell compulsively about each moment in favor of simply having the moment. Our work, our sittings show us how anything can be emptied of the story we tell about it. Not everything that happens to us happens because of us.

Self Remembering

During the course of my day, when engaged in activity, I attempt to be awake to myself, sensation of my body, my feelings, while I am engaged in outer activity. I am awake to myself in addition to the externals I am seeing or engaged in.

The further step: I am in touch with my inner self, inner life while engaging in the outer. That is, not just my three centers but my inner life, my Being, while I am involved externally. I feel my Being in my solar plexus, I remember my inner life, not just my functional being. I live in two worlds, not just one, I am alive in two worlds here and now.

The miracle of life is being present. Everything begins with this and never ends. Self remembering is our inactive self becoming awake.

From Mr G about the deep layers of Self Remembering:

“There are moments when you become aware not only of what you are doing but also of yourself doing it. You see both ‘I’ and the ‘here’ of ‘I am here’- both the anger and the ‘I’ that is angry.”
View From the Real World

Another quote from Mr G

“A man cannot remember himself because he tries to do so with his mind-at least, in the beginning. Self-remembering begins with self-sensing. It must be done through the instinctive-motor centre and the emotional center. Mind alone does not constitute a human being any more than the driver is the whole equipage. The centre of gravity of change is in the moving and emotional centres, but these are concerned only with the present; the mind looks ahead. The wish to change, to be what one ought to be, must be in our emotional centre, and the ability to do in our body. The feelings may be strong, but the body is lazy, sunk in inertia. Mind must learn the language of the body and feelings, and this is done by correct observation of self. One of the benefits of self-remembering is that one has the possibility of making fewer mistakes in life. But for complete self-remembering all centres must work simultaneously; and they must be artificially stimulated; the mental centre from the outside, the other two from inside. You must distinguish between sensation, emotions, and thoughts; and say to each sensation, emotion, and thought, “Remind me to remember you”, and for this you must have an “I”. And you must begin by separating inner things from outer, to separate “I” from “It”.”

Noticing

Our Theme is Noticing. How often do we notice what is around us; Do we see what our eyes are looking at, are we aware of our surroundings, people, do we notice ourselves while we notice.

With how many and what centers do we notice? If we notice with three centers we can Be In Contact, and be in the same world as the things we notice. With noticing we enter a world of awareness, with Being In Contact everything changes though everything outwardly is the same.

How often during our day are we present to Noticing, how often are we in Contact.

Before the Retreat

It is best when going on retreat to begin before we begin, that is, not going full throttle in life, driving to the retreat and trying to completely switch gears on arrival. Slow down now, be present, sit when you can, be aware of nature, connect with your inner life, be alive in your inner world.

The first major step on any inner path is a liberation from the spell of the outer world, not a rejection, the realization that the bodily and material world is not where we can achieve anything real for ourselves, it cannot give us what we need. We know that but need to live the knowing. This actually makes life in the material world richer and three dimensional.

On a retreat such as we have in April we can go further and see from the inner world that we cannot do. All our trying and identification with self has to let go for this to come. With this something substantial can occur and seeing can become Seeing.

Do Not Malign Others

Our theme is Not to Malign Others. Another way of putting this is to be Grateful to Everyone. ‘Oh boy’, how can I do this’, we say as we all see how much we judge, criticize and indeed are not very grateful in the moment.

The first step is to not make unimportant things important. As the Kwajagan state, to ‘Watch each step’, not just literally but to be in touch with Aim; where have we come from and truly where are we headed. We must never forget our Aim and the step we are taking in this moment.

 The moment may be complex, full of paradox, ambiguity but if we can’t learn to live with these we will remain eight years old the rest of our lives. Can we befriend the stranger and even the enemy within and without.

Let’s attempt to wake up to our maligning and denigrating others.

When are we in Essence

We go further with the work of Ramana and ‘Who Am I?’

In the moment, any moment we awake, am I pretending  or am I real, true to my own life. Is my behavior automatic based on habit, attempting to please others, personality, or genuine. Look and see.

Writing From India

We have within a finer energy, an inner vibration within, a more subtle energy that can be felt as a different presence inside. We can be awake to this inner life, pay attention to it, water it, feel it.

When in contact with our inner life there will be some separation from mechanical life, less leaking of energy through our automatic self.

In India one can see the interrelatedness of everything, of all living beings. This can come about when we relinquish control over things which comes from our personality and accept things as they are. This is not about ‘everything is as it should be’ or putting on rosy colored glasses, it is seeing with clarity, not fighting the moment. Our resistance to the unpleasant keeps us asleep and mechanically suffering.

Life is only available in the present moment and as we contact our finer energy we begin to be.

Before we go

I wanted to write as we prepare for our journey.

Be at ease, India is a safe and fun place to be, modern, ancient, exotic, familiar and always interesting. We tend to bump into what we worry about, so don’t.

How to work now; With our groups we are working deeply with I-Am, work with this each day. If we meet India in I-Am, we will begin to understand her. India is so full of life and life is only available in the present moment.

Travel often involves change and difficulty, but remember that our resistance to unpleasant situations is the root of most suffering.

See you soon in Chennai.

Working with leaks

We become the masks we wear.

We are capable of letting go, but at the deepest level Grace is required. Some things go far inside us, to a cellular, DNA, hereditary level.

We have to first work from the bottom up: To see, have intention, struggle, be willing to suffer with what we see, see impartially – we do the work and there is the potential of Grace, which is essential.

It’s foolish to hold on to negativity because of perceived negativity done to us in the past, so defeating— but so hard to let go of.

May we all be able to loosen bonds of negativity we carry around habitually. This helps short circuit “all about me”. Helps develop an unconditioned openness to all that arises.

May the three Racoos become real prayer:

To the Higher in our selves

To the Higher in each/all of us

To the Unfathomable

The Morning After

Our work in its essence is being free and not reacting to people and events that are external to us. Whatever occurs outside of us, we attempt to remain inwardly free and learn not to identify. We strive to face our inner life, the higher in us, as we face the creation around us.

Breath consciously, be present in the sensation of your body, and the warmth of an open heart. Our Work is to transform energy within and the energy that is about, as best we can; Fears, sufferings, worries, Our happiness is in our attitude and presence right now. We transform fear into gratitude for this life, our inner life and Soul that is the gift we have been given.

Be Well.